Tag: Family

When You Find a New Series

See Yourself in the Main Character…

So, this week I stumbled across the series “The Last Anniversary”. I won’t deny I am drawn to all things ANZ, I’ve been researching how to emigrate to NZ for the last year. (Sadly, without millions of USD, I have a year left before they tell me to bugger off. Agism is real, folks. LOL)

The story is about a mysterious disappearance of a couple who left their infant daughter behind in their cabin. Two sisters take her in and fast-forward, she ends up capitalizing on the mystery, the fact that she is the infant, and creates an entire industry around it.

The first episode finds one of the sisters passing away and leaving her home with all the contents, to her grandson’s ex-girlfriend, with whom she felt a kindred ship. I see myself in the ex-girlfriend’s character.

It’s no secret that I have always been able to talk to strangers, and quite like it, if I may. I don’t much care for people, but business travel over the last 25 years, I often find myself eating alone, visiting landmarks on days off alone … you get the idea. I have easily forged bonds with grandmothers, aunts, cousins, brothers of those I’ve dated in the past. In the first episode they feature flashbacks that show how the ex-girlfriend bonded with the late matriarch, it looks like something I’ve done a number of times over the years.

I could have been this fictitious woman; I’ve connected with a number of my ex’s family members in a meaningful way. It caused some resentment in a few, and I was swiftly cast aside. However, I kept in touch with those family members with whom I bonded and aside from the occasional family member’s wisecrack, the ex was never the wiser.

Some of my friends criticized me for keeping in touch with these people, but I never paid much attention to that. I always felt that everything happens for a reason; perhaps meeting that boy or man was not meant to lead to a long, happy marriage but only to lead me to that family member with whom I felt a connection. And if that is what the Universe intended, I am more than ok with that. I consider it a privilege to hear someone’s story, to be let in on their story … I have never taken that for granted.

Those stories have helped me to forge ahead, and for better or worse, be the woman I am today. Perhaps one day I’ll be remembered by one of those people, and if I am, I will consider it a blessing. However, if my company simply brought them a smile or a fond feeling as they recounted their happiest days, that is absolutely fine with me.

Sometimes life leads us down a winding path. Enjoy the journey.

When You’re 40something, Divorced and Finish Netflix

Do You Have To Remarry?

The abundance of free time we had during quarantine, coupled with the lack of desire to interact with the twat I was living with at the time, allowed me the opportunity to binge watch pretty much everything that I hadn’t when I first got separated in 2018. And I do mean everything.

I have watched ALL the foreign language crime/procedural series. I now know how to dispose of a body in about 5 languages and two sexy accents. I watched All the good stuff on Apple TV+, Disney+, Hulu and Amazon Prime. Also Starz, epix …. Crackle …. yeah. I finished it.

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I have not been able to go home for ages thanks to this bullshit virus, which in some ways has been a blessing, for but it’s also been difficult. My parents are late 60’s-ish now. My brother and sister have kids that I love and really missed. I finally got to travel home to the extremely rural twilight zone I grew up in recently. It was a whirlwind trip, but of course, the entire state is under construction and I got a speeding ticket.

I stay with my brother when I go home because my extremely beautiful mother is very European and still smokes (my Dad quit about 10 years ago, thank God) in the house. One of my very best friends moved back to our hometown a while ago, and we were able to spend time together. She gets up around 5 AM, though, so I was always back at my brother’s place pretty early each night but they were always in bed with all the lights off when I returned. All I could do was retire to the guest bedroom and stream more content.

While I was there, my entire family and my best friend, all asked about my ex-husband. Not that I mind, I love him (maybe not as much as my family, I am coming to realize) he and I are and always will be very dear friends. We talk frequently and often provide each other with viewing recommendations. My nephew even invited him to his graduation party in a few weeks, which I thought was very sweet. But, I had been talking about the really great guy I’ve been spending time with from the moment I arrived, and while everyone seemed interested and really happy for me, they still couldn’t stop asking or talking about my ex.

I couldn’t help but wonder, where do I go from here?

The transition from the man to whom I was first engaged, to my now ex-husband, was easy. As it turned out, everyone ‘liked’ my first ex, but they ‘loved’ my ex-husband (clearly). As I mentioned, the guy I dated after my divorce was not a great guy, he got physical with me and it was a bit of a nightmare. No one but my local best friend and my ex-husband met him; and they weren’t impressed.

But, now he’s gone. I’ve dated a bit (all mostly younger men) and now have finally met a great guy. He’s my age. I really, really like him. We have a lot of fun when we are together and I’ve been enjoying getting to know him. He doesn’t have a lot of free time, though, so two or three weeks can pass in between our visits. It can be difficult to fill the hours when we can’t be together for the longer stretches. So, once a week I see my best friend for drinks and/or dinner; but mostly watch more, “stuff”.

Until we decide to take the next step forward, maybe have me meet the kids, (which means we can spend more time together because our hours together can slightly overlap with a bit of the time he spends with the kids) or call it quits …. I am not sure what to do.

Because I’ve finished Netflix and my ex has no more viewing recommendations…